Conscious Aging with John Robinson, Ph.D.

May 01, 2013 12:20 PM EDT

Wow! Am I ever glad I came across your blog. I thought I was depressed again! I will read more of your blog, for sure.

- Carol Williams

May 01, 2013 1:19 PM EDT

Many thanks! John

- John Robinson

Feb 03, 2014 4:50 PM EST

I just turned 70. I'm a harpist, a recording artist, and a composer. For 70 years I was filled with gobs of ambition and excitement for the future. I had a billion ideas in my head and my heart for future goals. I'm a second degree black belt in karate. I have 5 CDs on the market. I was a stewardess/flight attendant for 42 years with 18,000,000 miles to my credit. I worked the Renaissance Festivals with my husband. Nobody's house or gardens looked better than mine. Suddenly, I turned 70. I no longer desire to climb that hill in front of me to see what's on the other side. I'm happy just to know there is the other side, but it's no longer important to me to see it. My house? I was a toothbrush cleaner. Everything had to be perfect. Now this house is lucky to get a cleaning once every year. Your article "AGING AND THE LOSS OF AMBITION" blew me away. You hit the nail on the head. I was so pleased to read that someone else who is experienced and who has knowledge, had an answer for me. Thank you. I know myself well. Just reading your article will get me over the lack-of-ambition-hump and get me producing good stuff again. Thanks a million. Great article and great writing talent. I like your style. I like how you gave importance to the deeper, more important part of aging.

Soon to be ambitious 70-year old.

- patricia K Carlson

Jul 22, 2014 8:48 AM EDT

I have reflected quite a lot on this topic over the last year, and have searched the web for inspiration. Your succinct summary of "the loss of ambition" is both comforting and a great inspiration.

- Thomas Söderqvist

Sep 28, 2014 1:54 PM EDT

Holding my son as he died is what started the death of my ambition. I've failed too much in this life to keep blindly and foolishly trying. I've had my successes as well, and they have been great and glorious, but maybe now it's time sit back and leave the striving to the young who haven't been burned yet. I've had enough of the fight.

- Anonymous

Oct 13, 2015 5:31 AM EDT

I just recently found my ambition at 60, a latent dream of over 20 years now coming to fruition. Working on making this dream into a reality gets me out of bed each morning. It is energizing to have a sense of purpose. I love what I am doing. I'll admit my body is no longer as strong and I physically tire more easily but mentally and emotionally "this girl is on fire"! :-)

- Gail Whitney Karn

Aug 05, 2016 12:20 PM EDT

Well I dislike not having a burning obsession with ambition. Maybe because I never had much respect for capable folks perceived as perfectly happy doing nothing. I believe you add value or you take it. Now that being said, I have hit a point where I simply can not believe the lack of ambition in myself. It's just gross.

- gary b

Sep 08, 2016 9:55 AM EDT

Wow, reads like how I feel exactly. How is this not depression in a click sense ? I don't mean as in seeking medication but to pursue resolution. Is it really a healthy normal to loose ambition with age ? I see many older people filled with ambition. I hope this is not the feeling that we have to endure til end of days.

- Scopey

Dec 23, 2016 9:15 AM EST

Hello. I hope the writer of this blog post gets to see my comment, because it has spoken to me very deeply. I have been struggling with these same feelings for more than a year now. I have published eight books, and now I no longer have the same ambitions to write that once consumed me. I have recently turned 50 and feel my life changing in the ways you eloquently described. I have bookmarked this post so I can read it when I need to remember that I'm not alone in this transition phase. Thank you so much!

- John

Jun 13, 2017 11:05 AM EDT

What an insightful article. My reaction,... the same as Gail Karn's. No shortage of ideas for me at 70, just shortage of focus and energy! Recently I read, with reluctance, The Grace in Aging by Kathleen Singh. I expected a quick read of platitudes on aging and death. Instead, the friends and I who shared this read spent months, not weeks, taking in the transformative words. Almost every page is journaled on and marked. I recommend the wisdom of this book to anyone searching for the energy to focus on tending the "fires" remaining in their hearts.

- Suzanne Alford

Jun 26, 2017 8:47 AM EDT

Hello, I see this post is a bit old but I will respond regardless. I am 55 years old. I have been struggling with these feelings for quite some time now. I used to be the most ambitious person on the planet. All I thought about was the fact that I had to work really hard to support my 5 kids and make a life for my wife and myself as the sole provider. Now that they are growing older 22,19,18,16,12 and my wife has gone back to work, it seems as if my ambition has completely disappeared. I have been in sales my entire career and frankly would be quite happy if I never had anything to do with it again. I don't know where to go from here but I don't like it here anymore. Monday's are the worst. I think about helping people, how beautiful this summer is turning out, what it would be like to not work. I know its crazy, but I just feel like I could retire tomorrow and be really ok with it. I found this article very helpful in my understanding of this issue. It is certainly good to hear other people feel the same way. Thanks, -Robert

- Robert H

Jan 22, 2018 3:55 AM EST

My first search for understanding what's going on with me (I'm 60), and wala, I come to this short article explaining what I already knew was true, but needed to know that I was not alone - I find I'm not. Now, the question for me becomes, how do I get it back? I want it back. There's still more for me to do. Thank You!

- Carleen White

Feb 14, 2018 6:24 AM EST

I turned 60 2 days ago and am looking for my purpose - that drive that keeps your thoughts focused and provides unending energy and WILL!
I play field hockey with the younger guys (40+) and with men my age and feel this keeps my thoughts young and provides a good reason to have a beer with the guys!
I am looking for motivation talks/programs specifically for those of us over 60 who face many different challenges to the younger ambitious. If none are to be found we (all of us over 50/60) shall start this resource together - because it is very much needed and there is soooo much wisdom to be shared!!
If you agree please respond with your guidance and advice and requests, anything/idea that pops into your head let us all share and build on.
Really looking forward to hearing from anyone with a similar outlook

- David H

Feb 14, 2018 7:23 AM EST

David: I applaud your wisdom and determination. A great place to start is Sage-ing International. Rich programs locally plus a major conference every two years. I've been attending and speaking there for several years now. All the psychological and spiritual themes of aging are explored and I like to add the mystical dimension as well.

- John Robinson

Feb 14, 2018 9:13 PM EST

Thanks John your direction and advice is appreciated. I will most certainly look over the organization to see if this is in fact what I am looking for.

- David H

Mar 03, 2018 4:25 AM EST

Me too. About to turn 70 and up until about 6 months ago, full of initiative, drive and good ideas. New projects all the time. Others couldn't keep up with me, with my drive; asking me how I do it, how do I get the energy. Now I still have great ideas, but very little motivation to actually "pull them off", to even get started. Thank you for sharing this blog, John...I was starting to wonder about my mental health, and a little scared. I will buy the book you recommend and see where it takes me...

- Lorraine Moyes

Mar 04, 2018 3:42 AM EST

This was helpful. Thank you. I find it quite interesting how ambition evolved in my own life. From take on the world, to my now more intimate ambitions of a late life new marriage, health, my social life and immediate community.

- David

Mar 04, 2018 9:18 AM EST

Reader from the UK here, I have just came across this. Your poetic words sum up exactly the confusion I going through right now; being baffled by my lack of ambition as I approach my late 50s, and at the same time being contented with the very same lack of ambition. Something different to "burn out" that I couldn't quite reconcile. Thank you.

- Richard C

Apr 25, 2018 10:54 AM EDT

Hello, my teacher is in his 60s he said he has completed everything in his life and he is satisfied with its outcome. Therefore he doesn't need or have any ambition. Is it true? I mean I told him that he was lame and that ambition was the drive of life. But if you don't have any goals left and your happy with what you have do you really need ambition? I mean heck I'm 16yrs old I'm full of ambition but in comparison I have my whole life ahead of me. So how would I know what a man in his 60 - who lived his life happily should feel. On the other hand I was always told to live to the fullest. When I'm in my 60s I wanna keep my ambition alive when im satified with me I'll help others when i think of it like that i guess that's what my teacher does. (To bad for the ambition thing tho/ Kinda lame.)

- MildredReyes

Apr 30, 2018 7:06 AM EDT

Hi Mildred: Thanks for writing! Ambition is the world of the young and middle aged. It's so important and meaningful. It's also the realm of the ego making its way in the world of work, love and life. As one moves through aging, ambition wanes so that something new can emerge from the soul, a new blossom of of who you really are. We move from ego to soul and discover that growth and expression don't need ambition but happen naturally, like a flower opening. My older friends talk of wanting now to live in a consciousness of "being" instead of "doing," and what's so interesting is that a new kind of "work" emerges from this "being" stage - the work of completing the self and loving the world. We are all living from the unfolding stages of life appropriate to our age. Don't worry about your teacher - sounds like he is exploring the stage that's right for him. I hope this helps. Best wishes, John

- John Robinson

Apr 30, 2018 7:56 PM EDT

John, like the previous comments, thank you. I have sat for hours at work pondering why I even both to come in. People have said nothing at work because they all live in their own little bubbles. I am heading towards 63 years old, with just two years out of retirement, down here in the Antipodes, and have contemplated "pulling the pin" (retiring early) because I have so many more interesting things I want to be doing. At times it feels like I am trying to walk in treacle. I do have the comfort of my wife of 41 years and a rapidly aging Labrador, both of who I adore. However, I just feel that I cannot discuss this more, although my wife has been aware for over 18 months, something is not right. Not sure which direction I will head in as this is new territory for me, coming from a very conformist, schedule and directive life.

- Jaydart

Aug 06, 2018 11:29 PM EDT

Thank you so much for your post. It makes me feel normal, and not lazy and uninspired. I have achieved I guess a great deal in my life but have not achieved the one thing I was superb at. I am now almost 67 and perhaps it is too late. I just wish I did have that sense of ambition I once had so I could achieve my one last goal. Does anyone know how I can get back my sense of ambition even just for a short while! I quite like my more lackadaisical self but I cannot achieve my goal with this state of mind! Help!

- Angela

Aug 10, 2018 7:54 AM EDT

Angela: It probably means that something new is growing in you. Don't push yourself. Give the new space to grow and form. Gardens grow in their own timing and so do you. This is a new stage, not like the past, so relax your expectations and standards and wait to be surprised! John

- John Robinson

Aug 10, 2018 10:15 AM EDT

I am experiencing the exact same thing. Thanks John.

- Karen

Aug 28, 2018 4:47 PM EDT

Turned 50 and the Loss of Ambition hit me like a rock. I've been fortunate enough to travel, have several jobs that I loved, chased and accomplished so many of dreams (at 80 miles an hour) and now - nothing. It's like I went up a hill and now I'm coming down the other side. I think about how one goes about "wrapping up life" not in a sad way but in a practical way. Like, why did I collect 200 gardening catalogs? Maybe this is a phase before one can move on to another adventure.

- Anonymous

Sep 21, 2018 8:44 PM EDT

Hi there. I can't believe how apt your blog is with respect to what I have been experiencing for the past 2 years from 63-65. Formerly a very ambitious, driven person with passionate interests, I fear I've morphed into a sort of a beach bum happy to watch the tide and the sun transiting across the sky for hours. This all came as a total shock to me, while in the middle of several intense projects and work commitments that currently are left dangling. On the one hand, I love being in this place and on the other I long for the ambition just to finish things up (another year or two) before full retirement takes over. Frankly, I currently lack the will to do much other than how the spirit moves me. Moreover, I've developed a totally new tool kit of interests I never dreamed of. Not the large goals but things seemingly more personal and immediate such as looking after an ailing friend or animal for example. To me it's a totally bizarre yet interesting phase of life.

- Cristie B.

Oct 01, 2018 4:00 PM EDT

It's a relief to read that others, including the author, are familiar with the lack of ambition and the confusion it causes. It hit me with the onset/ONSLAUGHT of menopause. The periods of inactivity are lengthening. Sometimes I really savor them. Other times I miss the zeal, the zest, the arrival of ideas and the ability to leap to my feet and carry them out. I seem to have no will left. I don't like it. This is a time of so much loss. I'm nearly 59 and there is so much more loss right ahead. It's terrifying. I don't recognize this new self.

- Calligrapher

Oct 02, 2018 12:59 PM EDT

I am 53 and have been feeling this way for at least 2 years. At first i thought it was depression but even before i read this article, deep down i knew what it really was.
But now it troubles me. Why is my inner self giving up so soon? 50?

- Bob

Oct 02, 2018 2:53 PM EDT

Bob, your inner self may simply be tired of what you've been demanding of it for so many years. Accept its needs for now. Let it show you the way instead of trying to make it comply with your expectations. Tired just means time it needs off to grow anew. The True Self is the psychological expression of the Soul. Your Soul has come here for a reason. Let it show you what that reason is as your True Self heals. John

- John Robinson

Oct 05, 2018 9:55 AM EDT

I just turned 72 and have been someone whom has succeeded in business and management positions for large corporations and small family owned businesses. During my 50 year career I worked my way from shop employee to COO of a large high tech company. Received both a BS and MS the later done at night while I was working full time. Two months ago I was offered a position with a company that was looking for someone to help them recreate themselves. and I accepted. I am about to walk away from this position because the passion for what I do and has been a true differentiator in my career is no longer there. I try to self motivate but it's just not important to me any longer. My wife, home children and dog are the only things that I want to occupy my time not business problems. The drive to succeed as a business man is no longer relevant the only thing that is important is the time and energy that I can devote to the people and things that I love.

- David Grossman

Nov 08, 2018 8:34 AM EST

G'Day - At 80 in December I looked up this lack of motivation thing some time ago while suffering from the manana syndrome. I'm sure what I am about to say will be interesting to many of those writing comments here. On second thoughts, aw, what the hell, who gives a damn. The bloody motivational problem has just returned. Bye. Seriously, though, but while I, too, have lost the motivation to many of the old things I used to, I have discovered motivation of a different kind - and that is not to be serious. It is a wonderful feeling if ever I can remember what wonderful felt like. You see, here comes another problem. Memory. Just when I thought I was over it, I have forgotten what 'it was. Meanwhile, this space looks as though it has ended without indication, just when I was about to give my big secret away. Another time, then. Maybe the day after tomorrow.

- ' peter hall cornwall

Nov 08, 2018 8:39 AM EST

G'day everyone. At 80 in December, I'm excited because here is an interesting bit about lack of motivation everyone is so concerned about that I am not experiencing. Many will find it right up their street, so here goes. On second thoughts, aw, what the hell. Can't be bothered. Bye. Seriously, though, I am in Shakespeare's long-forgotten Sixth-and-a-half Ages of Man. Don't remember reading that? Well, I said it was long forgotten. The article hit the spot, I must say, and I looked up the topic soon having recovered from manana several months ago. I, too, had been concerned about motivational aspects of my life: should I or should I not hit the next keyboard letter; similarly with jobs around the house which always used to get done. To show have bad the manana was until my recovery, I started writing this, oh, some time ago. Forget when exactly. Anyway, by the time I got over the tardiness syndrome I'd lost the bloody memory. The good thing is that I've got the motivation to be this way. No problem. Only solutions. To my ultimate pleasure, I now find the first attempt at comment that had disappeared now returns, so here's a second spoonful. The glitch, though, has created motivation to go find a sledge hammer, which can't be bad.

- peter hall cornwall

Nov 30, 2018 8:52 AM EST

Thank you for your thoughtful writing on the subject of loss of ambition.

In my case, it is not that I lost my ambition at age 50...it was that I had accomplished all my really important goals by age 50 by living a simple life. My 'bucket list' included: marrying a good wife (28 years and going strong); having a family (3 great kids); affording to send my kids to University (those same 3 great kids all graduated!); pay off my mortgage (before I was 40); retire young (50!).

Ambitious pursuits seem selfish at this point.

- K Hoover

Dec 05, 2018 1:21 AM EST

Yes great blog I totally relate to most of the comment particularly the latter few I to semi retired at 50 but kept my little finger in our family business just enough to keep my focus in the financial area but for the last 13 years I have found the true riches of life ie a loving family with whom I spend my precious time with and the simple things that are so valuable I think it’s all about what we assign the most value to that really counts And to re connect with the universal sovereign and to understand his purpose for each of us.

- E J Crooks

Dec 06, 2018 8:23 AM EST

Am often questioning my 'laziness' here at age 75 after a lifetime of parenting, education, 40 years of work outside the home, lots of romantic love and travel, enjoyment of beautiful homes in lovely places. Thankfully, I do come back to to the realization that it's just fine to sit here and watch the birds and the squirrels or take a nap or binge a compelling narrative. I appreciate your comments, a boost toward losing the lack of motivation guilt.

- Jane Evans Maryland

Jan 08, 2019 6:18 PM EST

I used to wonder why young children would not get sick of playing the same old game again and again. I used to wonder why very young adults like to go out ALL the time and just "hang out". Or why people work overtime to get ahead. Just nature's way of making sure children learn. People would never meet the right spouse and have children if they didn't go out and keep trying. And you would never protect your family fully if you did not work hard. When all that is done I still have motivation but broken down into different smaller and more numerous pieces. Guiding adult children at a higher level without doing all the grunt work, contemplating life to pass on wisdom, volunteering, etc.

- Buddy

Jan 26, 2019 4:27 AM EST

This hits ..at 65 after being a single mom and struggling all tgose years I thought I was just tired...my get up and go..got up and went.
I start sewing projects but lack
Motivation to finish...feel lime
i should get up and go but dont.
Juat no fight left in this old dog...then I feel guilty for not leaving the house for 4 days.

Ambition...I just wanted to survive the war of being a mom to two teenage firls and a rambunctious boy...maybe its just PTSD..ot shell shock.
Just want to lounge around..enjoy my cats a d wait for the shoe to drop.
Dont really care anymore.

- Anonymous

Jan 26, 2019 2:42 PM EST

Take your time. No judgment, no pressure. It's normal and ok. A new path will appear when a new self finally comes after the long journey of family. You will meet yourself anew and welcome her.
John

- John Robinson

Feb 04, 2019 6:18 AM EST

I can’t believe I found this blog! I’ve been going nuts wondering why I’m losing my drive. I just urned 60. For the majority of my life, I was always on the go. Exercising a lot, full time work and freelance at night, trips, friends, events; I loved it all. But now I seem to be losing my ambition. It really bothers me simply because it is so not “me”

- SDMB

Feb 10, 2019 9:01 PM EST

Thank you so much. I am 53 and have been feeling particularly not my self for the last few weeks. Startling really. I entered my fifties ready to rock them, establishing a new relationship with myself, and setting some pretty big goals for myself emotionally, physically, artistically, career wise and then BAMM a few weeks ago I realized the drive was just gone...I am afraid I will never have the life I want for myself...I am encouraged to just be present to what I am experiencing now, even with tears as I write this... the only way "out" is through. Part of me is running screaming WHAT HAPPENED?!!the other- the biggest part of me is just still. quiet, watching, here...I am thinking I might be deficient in some important mineral or vitamin or something. Too much stress and just needing a break. I don't know... I do know I don't have a choice but to pay attention

- Safiya

Feb 10, 2019 11:46 PM EST

Gosh I thought it was just me! I have many days with no motivation, maybe it’s Ok to just take things at a slower pace

- Anonymous

May 08, 2019 10:17 PM EDT

Hello John,
Thank you for your beautiful and wise post. I am sitting her in my little front yard with my 3 pets wondering why I am so content doing nothing. I have been like this for awhile. I used to be addiction to change and driven by passionate mirage of interests. I was constantly chasing, chasing, chasing. But then I stopped and I’ve been in this strange content unmotivated place for about a year. I’m concerned because it’s different, because “doing stuff” has always been equated to happiness. Am I wasting my life? I enjoy my work, am successful, but I’m not ambitious. I’m single and live a fairly reclusive life, but am friendly & sociable. I feel awe and gratitude. But yet I’m not “doing”, I’m not motivated. My question is... I’m 41, but I feel so much connection with your post. Have I hit this phase of life too soon?

- Aura

Jun 18, 2019 10:44 AM EDT

John Excellent post that is very much to the point. Sit back, relax for it is normal part of life and may protect us like a fuse protects against burnout. Everyone that lives to experience this has accomplished many tasks using up energy along the way, and now less energy is available resulting in dialing back preserving what remains.

- Ted

Jun 28, 2019 3:19 PM EDT

I am 68 female married had a good career and now I watch TV allot

- Eileen

Jul 05, 2019 10:33 PM EDT

I picked up my iPad and searched loss of ambition with aging. I didn’t expect the first thing I found to speak so directly to me. I am an artist. I still enjoy looking at other artists works and sometimes get envious of their accomplishments, their ambition and their imagination. I’ve spent my life in active and fallow periods of art making, so I keep thinking this relaxedness about making anything is normal. What’s changed is that I’m no longer feeling as guilty about not creating. I do wish I was creating more than I am (sporadically), because we still need money before my husband retires. I am already retired because of illness and thought it was my illness making me slow to work. Now I don’t think so. Part of me doesn’t care about making anything. That’s so unlike me, I don’t recognize myself. It’s like I forget who I am! Time will tell if it’s a lull or I’ve stopped caring, despite needing to make money. Frustrating.

- Artist in semi-retirement

Jul 09, 2019 10:15 AM EDT

Wow! 43 times around the sun. I'm beginning to wonder if all of my time spent in an effort to make my life "perfect" is really just time wasted. Certain things need to be done, but the bar continues to be lowered for me.

- Ryan F

Jul 28, 2019 10:56 AM EDT

How true this is. It’s a strange state. But helps me understand why I’m not the same as I was ten years ago.

- RGS

Aug 11, 2019 4:55 PM EDT

I enjoyed the Post, thank you and the comments too. I know exactly what you mean, John. I feel strangely not motivated to 'do my work' despite being an academic with a very busy life. I am supposed to be running around full of energy and writing writing writing...but I seem to go home and read, think, paint, cut out nice pictures from my magazines as to how I would like to renovate our old house. I had enormous drive - where has it gone? So - I know exactly what you mean, at nearly 60. I was not prepared for this. We do not talk about conscious aging at my work...there are people still there pounding away at age 76. But I want to go to art school and stop working!! What next I wonder?

- Kate Jones

Sep 02, 2019 9:23 PM EDT

I am 69; retired military; a combat veteran; and also retired from the us government; so my finances are in order; but now i notice i pay attention too small things; and appreciate things i used to take for grante; like walking my dog;; and just looking at plants; the sky; and appreciate my good health so far; its been an adventure for sure. Tasting my coffee in the morning ; the news; and taking my sweet time; as in answer to know one anymore.

- R.E. WOOD

Sep 16, 2019 2:39 PM EDT

This is so me and what I am going through at this period in my life . I am 82 and very healthy. I loved sports on tv and biting on trails . I find the excitement of a bo of a good book is not that high. I am losing my gusto . I really try. But it is just not there.

- Harold Plummer

Oct 09, 2019 8:22 AM EDT

I thought it was just burn-out. It's good to know that losing ambition as one ages is common and perhaps normal. It's hard to accept it though. At 53 I know that realistically I can't retire until 62. It's like having 200 miles to go and only 1 or 2 gallons of gas left in the tank.

- Mike

Oct 19, 2019 12:51 PM EDT

Thanks for your insight. I needed that.

- JLH

Nov 17, 2019 4:48 PM EST

John, I appreciate your books, and anything you feel motivated to sage! Your old blog piece hit home with me after 2 years of what I assumed to be a "reset." I'm coming to think it might just be a resting of fallow ground, and a call for faithfulness in small things.

- PLC

Dec 11, 2019 3:41 PM EST

Expressed so well. Some days I'm filled with mundane ambition e.g. planting some beach sunflowers, trimming hedge ...and then days I say I'm not interested in anything but maybe a glass of wine at the end of the day.

- Jon Mark Anderson

Jan 04, 2020 10:53 PM EST

Thank you. In the middle of my fourth year of retirement, as my 70th birthday is rapidly approaching, i have been waiting/hoping for that same high energy that propelled me toward new challenges and goals for the past 50 years. This is the first time in my life i have not been actively working toward reaching a new personal or career goal. It leaves me feeling somewhat lost and adrift. Yet, at the same time i also cherish these marvelous days to simply appreciate life.

Thank you for sharing your experiences on this, and thereby helping me realize many (most? all?) share these thoughts.

- Barbara

Jan 23, 2020 7:31 PM EST

When I was 10 years old I looked forward to all the great adventures ahead of me in life. Now that I’m 69 all the quests of youth and most of my life are behind me. No one told me one of the hardest things would be watching family members and friends pass away one by one. Although I have little motivation I still want to do good works. I want to find ways to bring others a little happiness. I don’t want to just fade away in complacency.

- JRL

May 12, 2020 1:34 PM EDT

I enjoyed your comment on Aging & the loss of Ambition. It’s exactly where I am.
I chuckled while I was reading it. I thought you were writing about me.

- Phil

Dec 07, 2020 7:21 PM EST

I’ve been going to counseling, to figure out why I have a lack of motivation. I’ve been to my 9th session and I still didn’t have answers until I read your article. Now it makes sense. I no longer have to beat myself up, for thinking I’m lazy or unambitious. Now I can think differently and plan accordingly. Thank you.

- Niang